I had taken this down to give the 360 a chance which it clearly didn't deserve so back by popular demand, it's the biggest videogame launch fiasco in history.
You've been wandering
around aimlessly for days...
You've been masturbating far too much lately...
Your mom wants you out of the house by 12:00 tomorrow...
Congratulations, you've made it.
You are in the colony
of slave drones whose
only real purpose in life is to serve Bill Gates
.
WELCOME TO...
I'm not really sure what
in the hell the purpose of this portion of
the campaign is, but it's odd that Microsoft would call it's gamers
a bunch of slaves...
Um, yah. Between the head
whipping around in all sorts of directions
and the misguided array of bullshit spewing forth from a mouth that
clearly needs some man-meat, we can see that quite obviously you
are gay.
This image speaks for itself.
Am I buying a gamepad, a pair of sunglasses or a homeless Asian kid?
Oh Mei Mei, you were just asking for it with this one dear.
Let's go see the rabbits
George! This is definetly the kind of guy I
want working on my console.
You fucking KNOW you are
big league shit when you have your
own name printed on your space bar. Thank god, otherwise I
wouldn't know whose computer was whose...
This particular portion
of the campaign has King Dipshit talking
about tweaking and spinning and whirling, and all kinds of misc
crap that hopefully kids will be able to relate to.
One of the dedicated team
members figuring out how to turn on
his monitor.
As a matter of fact, this
would turn out to be the source of all of the
360's major hardware problems. Disable the GREEN / RED light
and your 360 will probably start working better.
It's a concave design
of sucking. Apparently having a different shape
will sell more consoles because people are more interested in the
shape of the thing as opposed to what it has to offer...
It's an INHALE?!?!?!?
What in the fuck does that mean?!?!
I've come to the conclusion that maybe the console can inhale
the souls of small children whilst they drone away at Halo 3.
Because nobody has ever thought of this before...
Apparently gamers needed
a button so fucking big you could see it
from Jupiter. At least you'll be able to see your way around the living
room at night while mom and dad are asleep.
MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait until it turns red suckers :)
That's right kids, faceplates.
You don't have to worry about what kinds
of games will or more probably WON'T be coming to your Xbox console
because you'll be too busy fucking around with changing your faceplate.
They managed to shove
this shit in your face repeatedly because
apparently we have no idea what a gamepad is.
About the only difference
I found between this shit and the former
shit was the giant retard button in the middle of the thing which
gives you instant access to an array of worthless crap.
Big shouts to Microsoft
on this one. Surround sound. Yah, we haven't
been using that for the last oh... 10 years. Way to be in touch and
up-to-date with the times. Maybe you should add a chat feature
along with webcam and email. Oh wait, you did...
Rain_1 ??????????????????
The one Microsoft / Xbox employee I'd actually consider doing.
She kinda scares me, but I know I could score easily.
If you've ever wondered
what it's like to be around an Xbox Fanboy
or team member, just use things like LOL, LMAO and ROFL, and
you'll fit right in. This theory has been tested and proved on IRC.
You know it buddy!
J. Allard tries to fool
everyone by stating his gamer tag is some bullshit
like Hero Protagonist, but we all know the truth. This particular image
makes me want to kick his ass more than ever.
STOP LOOKING AT ME MAN!!!
Mei Mei dear, you set yourself up for this shit over and over...
This is one more shit-eating
fuckhead on the Xbox team I wanna beat
the holy fucking shit out of.
AWWWWWWWWW YEAH!!!
plz
I'm not sure I want this guy putting together my console...
Use a condom please.
Usually I'd make some kind of summary, but I think this entire campaign was summed up just using the pictures.